Autonomy
by Alatar Maia
Summary: Au·ton·o·my (/ôˈtänəmē/), noun; freedom from external control or influence; independence. Something Anna never had, before she fell, and something she was robbed of after she did.


**Got the idea, had to write it down. Feel free to listen to 'Shooting Star' from the Stardust soundtrack while you read, to imagine Anna's fall. It's on Youtube if you look.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural**

* * *

When she falls, it's almost a relief.

Heaven was nothing like it started out as. Anael had always felt choked by the rules and regulations, even more so after the fall. She'd had only a few confidantes - well, one - to share her feelings with, those she knew wouldn't say anything to Michael or Naomi, and Gabriel was long gone.

And Anael couldn't bear it any longer.

Her only regret was what might happen in her absence. All else she couldn't wait to get away from - to be _free_ from.

* * *

Falling also _hurt._

And then Anael became Anna, instead.

* * *

When she gets her Grace back, it wrecks her body.

Anna can't put it back together herself. She doesn't have the power, and it's in too many pieces; some atoms were even scattered far beyond the reach she has at the moment.

So she seeks out the first person who comes to mind. The first person she knew she could trust - if they were still alive.

Gabriel was remarkably difficult to find. Anna realized why when she finally did, magic and all sorts of accumulated disguises cloaking his Grace and burying it under something stranger that she couldn't quite recognize.

"So this is where you've been." If she had her body, she might have smiled. As it is, she can risk going body-less for a little while. Gabriel chose such a remote area to confront her in that it didn't really matter.

Gabriel is, at first, defensive. Anna can see the moment he recognizes her.

" _Anael_?"

"Anna, now."

Something sparks in his eyes, and Gabriel _laughs._ "Little Anna," he says. "You _fell._ I saw it. What on Earth are you doing, following me around? I thought I'd been blown."

"I got my Grace back." She wouldn't have taken it back, if she'd had any other choice.

"I can see that." Gabriel's eyes reflected her Grace oddly, turning his eyes to flat gold coins. "And wrecked your body."

"That's why I came to you. Who else would help me get it back?"

Gabriel laughs again, and snaps his fingers.

Anna can feel her body settle around her, restricting her Grace and keeping it contained in a mortal form once more. She really does smile at Gabriel then, wide and honest.

"Look at you," he said. "How old did you get?"

"Nineteen." It feels odd to say it, now that she remembers how old she really is.

Gabriel whistles. "Upstairs is _not_ going to be happy."

"I know. They've already tried to get me." Anna's smile fades, somewhat. "Before I got it back." It was only by pure chance that she'd gotten her Grace back from Uriel.

"Well, hey." Gabriel spreads his arms. "Witness protection always works."

"Is that what you've been doing?" Anna lets her eyes skim Gabriel's form. She still can barely make out his Grace; only the faintest of traces that allowed her to find him in the first place.

"Like I said, it works."

Anna shakes her head. "I can't just pretend this isn't happening. And neither can you."

Gabriel isn't smiling anymore, either. "Says who?"

"This is going to affect everyone, Gabriel." The downside, now, is that Anna knows _exactly_ what's about to happen, as soon as Dean dies.

Gabriel flinches at his name - minutely, but it's there. Anna doubts anyone's called him by _that_ name in a long time. "I'm not getting involved. I _can't,_ Anna."

"Why not?"

Gabriel hesitates, and looks away. "You wouldn't understand." His voice is soft.

It stings, that after all she's told him (admittedly many centuries ago) he can't trust her with whatever reason he has. Anna leaves in a fit of frustration, and doesn't seek out Gabriel again.

He doesn't come to her.

* * *

(Later, she'll regret this - regret not taking his offer to hide, because at least that way she could have avoided Heaven's manipulation, whatever they've done to her sickeningly clear only at the last second and she regrets it in the last second she has to regret anything, and a tiny voice whispers that she could never have escaped Michael forever before she can't think anything at all.)

* * *

 **Read and review, please.**


End file.
